Yesterday I was fasting. Yes, where you go an entire day without food, that fasting.
It isn't something I do often or being a foodie, am super comfortable doing. Nor am I particularly religious to think that a person's going without food for 16 hours is going to change the cosmos for the better thereby increasing someone's life expectancy.
My mom fasts for me and my brother every year on ahoi or simply hoi (http://goo.gl/S526U) for as long as I remember. I started finding it ridiculous for her to go without food or water for us nincompoops while we hogged on hoi goodies she'd get for us. So some years back, I decided to fast for her as it was the only logical thing to do.
Now, there I am on hoi day at work ,not munching chips or chana nor gulping down cups after cups of tea. And where it gets really tough is the not even having water bit. For this you need to understand the prominence water has in my life right now. Since I clearly haven't felt 'thirsty" in the past 6 years or so for no apparent reason, water serves as the "filler" for the "I'm bored" or "I can't think" or "I have nothing to do" or "I have so much to do that can't think where to start" times, anyone in a corporate-desk type job set would get what I'm talking about. You only leave your seat to get water or go to the loo which is again a derivative of the previous visits to the water counter. During my fast I realized the importance of these water breaks.
To take my mind off that and to make the whole experience challenging I sat with my colleagues as they had their lunch. It was here that one of them pointed out the borderline masochistic nature of what I was doing. Now I don't know whether it was the hunger that made me profound in thought or my general awesomeness but something struck me. Masochism has been taught to us as a concept, something bad or a weird sexual thing, little strange or not normal and definitely grey. What if it isn't so. What if it's one hardwired behaviour of humans. More than we know it to be.
Just think about it, when do you know it is love?
When it pains. When it reaches that madness of irking you, driving you a little crazy; interfering with your daily activities. We all have been in relationships that went on perfectly well without the craziness, that irrationality. There was no pain or sorrow involved. And then it just fizzled out. Without warning. Poof!
I love my family and friends. I do. But god(or math or science) knows they drive me crazy! Little things- idiosyncrasies as the cool call it these days are capable of doing these weird mutations to a normal person. It hurts. It aches. Sometimes it just makes you cringe.
A spoon of sugar in tea too much,
some new sms spellings- "gud nyt",
an unbearable habit- snoring,
bad taste in music- Himesh or something,
an inconvenient personality trait- inexpressive,
a weird attire choice- jumpsuit and the list can go on.
And then you do what?
Adjust? Live and let live? STFU?
Or do you start or at least try to like these very idiosyncrasies that once drove (or still drive) you up the wall?
My dog peed on bed, pooed in my room, ripped my real sleek couch apart, made me run after him during his walks, pulled me so hard at times that I fell; skinning my knees. All that. But now that he's gone, I miss that idiot so bad. Sometimes I think if I hadn't let him misbehave so much, take us for granted, prolly then now it'd hurt lesser. Maybe.
Is it about stakes of pain after all?
Are you unknowingly constantly looking for people(and pets!) who will be able to bring out the crazy in you by inflicting some kind of pain-like pressure(pleasure!?) at some level; mild to moderate, emotional to social. Is that what being intellectually stimulating or challenging one's intellect mean?
Does my brain subconsciously go "ohhh this person can make us crazy to very high! Respect dude! We must love this person and feel all the attachment thingies."
In a way, attachment seems to be a tad bit lopsided to pain than happy. I can count having fun happy times with acquaintances but that never converted into attachment or friendship. We are attached to people who can, knowingly or unknowingly, press our buttons of crazy. They may not but they can. They have the power is what matters.
Whatever we say or do, we like it and we want it. It probably assures the mind in this "robotic, no time for one's self" era that people are imperfect and so are we. If we accept them, they might just accept us too and hopefully there wouldn't be any more wars.
But while this whole learning to "take it with a pinch of salt" was on, i'm afraid I might have just developed a taste.
I like salt. It brings out the flavour in sweet.
Maybe pain is good because it makes everything else so much sweeter than it actually is. And the cause of the pain important.
Ever tried cold coffee or chocolate milk with a pinch of salt? It is godly(or mathly or science-ly)!
Just try it on a day you are not fasting.
It isn't something I do often or being a foodie, am super comfortable doing. Nor am I particularly religious to think that a person's going without food for 16 hours is going to change the cosmos for the better thereby increasing someone's life expectancy.
My mom fasts for me and my brother every year on ahoi or simply hoi (http://goo.gl/S526U) for as long as I remember. I started finding it ridiculous for her to go without food or water for us nincompoops while we hogged on hoi goodies she'd get for us. So some years back, I decided to fast for her as it was the only logical thing to do.
Now, there I am on hoi day at work ,not munching chips or chana nor gulping down cups after cups of tea. And where it gets really tough is the not even having water bit. For this you need to understand the prominence water has in my life right now. Since I clearly haven't felt 'thirsty" in the past 6 years or so for no apparent reason, water serves as the "filler" for the "I'm bored" or "I can't think" or "I have nothing to do" or "I have so much to do that can't think where to start" times, anyone in a corporate-desk type job set would get what I'm talking about. You only leave your seat to get water or go to the loo which is again a derivative of the previous visits to the water counter. During my fast I realized the importance of these water breaks.
To take my mind off that and to make the whole experience challenging I sat with my colleagues as they had their lunch. It was here that one of them pointed out the borderline masochistic nature of what I was doing. Now I don't know whether it was the hunger that made me profound in thought or my general awesomeness but something struck me. Masochism has been taught to us as a concept, something bad or a weird sexual thing, little strange or not normal and definitely grey. What if it isn't so. What if it's one hardwired behaviour of humans. More than we know it to be.
Just think about it, when do you know it is love?
When it pains. When it reaches that madness of irking you, driving you a little crazy; interfering with your daily activities. We all have been in relationships that went on perfectly well without the craziness, that irrationality. There was no pain or sorrow involved. And then it just fizzled out. Without warning. Poof!
I love my family and friends. I do. But god(or math or science) knows they drive me crazy! Little things- idiosyncrasies as the cool call it these days are capable of doing these weird mutations to a normal person. It hurts. It aches. Sometimes it just makes you cringe.
A spoon of sugar in tea too much,
some new sms spellings- "gud nyt",
an unbearable habit- snoring,
bad taste in music- Himesh or something,
an inconvenient personality trait- inexpressive,
a weird attire choice- jumpsuit and the list can go on.
And then you do what?
Adjust? Live and let live? STFU?
Or do you start or at least try to like these very idiosyncrasies that once drove (or still drive) you up the wall?
My dog peed on bed, pooed in my room, ripped my real sleek couch apart, made me run after him during his walks, pulled me so hard at times that I fell; skinning my knees. All that. But now that he's gone, I miss that idiot so bad. Sometimes I think if I hadn't let him misbehave so much, take us for granted, prolly then now it'd hurt lesser. Maybe.
Is it about stakes of pain after all?
Are you unknowingly constantly looking for people(and pets!) who will be able to bring out the crazy in you by inflicting some kind of pain-like pressure(pleasure!?) at some level; mild to moderate, emotional to social. Is that what being intellectually stimulating or challenging one's intellect mean?
Does my brain subconsciously go "ohhh this person can make us crazy to very high! Respect dude! We must love this person and feel all the attachment thingies."
In a way, attachment seems to be a tad bit lopsided to pain than happy. I can count having fun happy times with acquaintances but that never converted into attachment or friendship. We are attached to people who can, knowingly or unknowingly, press our buttons of crazy. They may not but they can. They have the power is what matters.
Whatever we say or do, we like it and we want it. It probably assures the mind in this "robotic, no time for one's self" era that people are imperfect and so are we. If we accept them, they might just accept us too and hopefully there wouldn't be any more wars.
But while this whole learning to "take it with a pinch of salt" was on, i'm afraid I might have just developed a taste.
I like salt. It brings out the flavour in sweet.
Maybe pain is good because it makes everything else so much sweeter than it actually is. And the cause of the pain important.
Ever tried cold coffee or chocolate milk with a pinch of salt? It is godly(or mathly or science-ly)!
Just try it on a day you are not fasting.
